“Did she mean convicts are the worst?… Wait, what?”
That’s what was going through my head as I had just shared a piece of my work, something I was very passionate and proud of, something that was meant to change lives. It was small, but meaningful, but a piece of me. And that was the reaction it has just elicited.
“Ha, your such a sucker. Um. I mean, well, you know… Converts are the worst.”
It was clear she did not like, buy in or understand what I was trying to do. I changed the subject. I was disappointed and second guessing myself. Maybe everyone who reads this work will think the same thing? Or maybe I misunderstood- maybe she’s really not talking about me at all… did she say convict or convert? Wait. What?
I hadn’t misunderstood anything. The conversation deteriorated. Became patchier and eventually we just changed the subject. I had changed far to much for her comfort. I was barely recognizable in her eyes.
Change is difficult. That’s not news to anyone. What is shocking to me for some reason, is the repeated, unsupported, blatant disregard of others decision to change. My observation is that it is fear that drives the disdain for change. Fear of being left behind, fear of the unknown that change brings.
There’s a quote I love… “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.” -George Addair
Fear cripples people from acting. What is so frightening? That you might live up to your dreams? That you might live up to your potential? That you could actually MAKE a difference?
I’ve noticed as I talk to more and more people from all different walks of life, and all different experiences…. those who have learned to harness fear long enough to see what is on the other side- are those that will be more successful, happy and fulfilled. They are the ones who will reach their goals. There is a peace that comes from the ‘other’ side of fear. That ‘in-between’ is a very dark place, and if they’ve managed to get back- a newfound clarity seems to come with it… and the sight to now be able to see how just about anything is possible if they just get out of their own way and do it.
One. Task. At. A. Time.
Nothing to Fear.
I had a “Three-Strikes-You-Didn’t-Get-This-Yet?” lesson on this personally….
It started with armed robbery, went on to a lengthy, difficult recovery from an orthopedic surgery, and culminated with a bad fall, on a hard tile floor, resulting in a head injury… a literal tap on the head from the man upstairs to wake me up….
That third strike woke me up, got me onto a path that has been full of change, discovery and growth.
Sure, I could have ignored yet another sign and kept on the path I was on. I could have done what was comfortable, the same old patterns. Change was necessary. There was more I was supposed to be, supposed to do, supposed to give. And it was all on the other side of fear.
I ignored the naysayers, and those that would scoff at my ideas. I kept moving forward. In the early years I had no idea what or where my path would lead me. I just knew I was on to something. My path became clear as time went on. If you let life lead you it will- I’m not saying in a lazy way- actively follow what you are passionate about.
How, you might ask? Look at your day. What in your day makes you feel most alive? Most happy? Do more of that. I kept asking myself that very question, day in, day out. I kept trying to find more and more time to do more and more of the things that made me happy. I began spending time only with people who lifted me up, not those who made me feel badly about myself or who drained me. I was careful about what and who I gave my time to. Period. This did not happen overnight, it was a slow, insidious process. But, overtime, I built a day to day that I was thriving in. I just kept following that path.
There were a few side affects of all of this change…. less fear, less tension, less anger… more smiles, more control, more happiness, more fruitfulness. Not bad. I think I’ll keep it up!
Every now and then I mix it up, do something really nutty. I feel like the bottom falls out a bit, things spin a little, the fear creeps in… and I remind myself (sometimes just before I loose it), it’s OK! You’ve got to loosen the reigns a bit, let go, relinquish control and level up! Chaos needs to set in every now and then, and again to unsettle things, keep you on your toes, and shake you (me) out of your (my) comfort zone. I have found it dangerous now to get too comfortable….
Embrace the fear… lean into change… and if they’re criticizing you, you’re probably doing something right.
Yeah, I guess “converts” are the worst! ❤
Be Well,
-Laurie
